karlamrich

As @svetz pointed out on twitter today, there is music that I totally should know from the early 90s (namely, Rage Against the Machine and L7) but did not. The reason for this is that in 1992 I declared my acceptance of new music done. I heard all I wanted to hear and liked what I liked and nothing was going to change that. With a few exceptions I have allowed some new stuff into my collection, but for the most part its just classic rock.

But music is not the only thing that I have shut myself off from. I am very nervous, even afraid, of new experiences, places, people, ideas. I realize now, that I have The Pudding Problem.

When Kaleb was a toddler, he was EXTREMELY picky. He would eat cereal, cookies, hot dogs, pizza and spaghetti. That's pretty much it. We desperately tried to get him to eat new things, and he simply refused at first glance. Finally, one day, we were fed up. We were trying to get him to try chocolate pudding of all things, and the kid just pushed it away and cried every try. Just putting a little on his lips would result in him wiping it off and screaming at us. We finally did exactly what we should not have done. We forced him. One of us opened his mouth and the other stuck a spoonful in his mouth. He tried spitting it out, but then once he closed his mouth he stopped - and thought - and then looked at the bowl of pudding - and thought some more - and then reached his hand out for more. Because of course he liked it. It was chocolate pudding! So, as Kaleb got older we would remind him of how we once had to force feed him pudding to point out how fearful he is of trying new things, even when he KNOWS there is a high probability that he will like it. So, the shorthand for that became, "Kaleb, I think you're having a Pudding Problem". This is usually enough to encourage him to at least try.

Also, when deciding how to compose this post, I distracted myself when I realized how much I speak in Tamarian to the kids. You know, as in "Darmok and Jalad at Tenagra". Aw, now i wish i had my old star trek icons back.

In preparation of my last post, I looked through my box o' memories from high school.  Read my diaries (wow, I was in love, no really this time, it's true love, every couple of months. How did I survive?), read some old letters from distant friends, and found pictures. Lots of pictures - half of whom are people I only vaguely remember.  And yet these are people I carried pictures of in my wallet for years. 

Well, in a previous post I mentioned my two Jeremy's from high school: Crash & Burn.  Jeremy Medlin (Burn) was my best friend and I frequently got rides home from him after drill team practices (he was the company CO).  One day early in the morning Jeremy someone came to our homeroom and he went running outside. I had to wait a little while to follow (until the bell rang at least) and when I got to the parking lot, this is what I saw:

Aw, that poor little car.  I remember Jeremy had coins superglued to the ceiling which we would rub and make prayers to the gods of gasoline that the $1 or 2 that we put in the other day would get us to our destination.  Poor little car gave and gave until it just couldn't no more.
 

You don't even know.

I LOVED Gordie.  Okay, I also had a crush on his big brother, but while all my friends were fauning over Chris Chambers, I was head over 12-year old heels in love with Gordie Lachance. I loved the Stand By Me soundtrack and I would listen to it over and over again, imagining myself skipping down the train tracks with Gordie and his crazy friends singing "Lollipop".  I was already collecting every Tiger Beat and BOP that had pictures of him, and even signed up for his fan club.  My wall (well, my wall space I had in my bottom bunk since I shared my room with my two brothers at the time) was PLASTERED with his pictures as he slowly, though never completely, edged out Sean Astin (Goonies never say die!).  And yes, I was ECSTATIC when the movie Toy Soldiers came out.  Even though they (SPOILER ALERT!) killed my Joey. At least it was an honorable death. And I still had Sean to last me through the rest of the movie.

So I was raised to be a good sci-fi fan, but especially a Star Trek fan, by my father. We were both very excited to hear there would finally be new Star Trek.  Cautiously optimistic was our atitude.  Then, THEN!, an amazing thing happened. I watched TNG and who was representing my generation, but Wil Fucking Wheaton. Even the geekgasm of hearing that Robert Downey, Jr was playing Tony Stark could not compare to how happy that made me.   

My love for Wil continued through middle school and on into high school.  In my final English class of high school (Junior year, English IV) we were given an assignment to write our own obituaries.  In mine, I was happily married to Wil Wheaton.  I was survived by my two sons as well, and I had been pregnant with our third (don't worry, the baby made it, and, surprise! it's a girl!).  Wil was continuing to act (I think I had him starring in Godfather 5 or something ridiculous) and I was retired Navy.  I was quite accomplished myself, being the first woman Navy SEAL, and in my later years a helicopter pilot in the Marines (I was having a very hard time deciding between Navy and Marines after my summer at the Leadership Academy in Annapolis).  I died on New Year's Eve after being hit by a drunk driver while taking my best friend, a drunken Alyssa Milano, home from a celebration at our house.  Why my deadbeat husband made his obviously VERY pregnant wife do this at the end of a rainy New Year's Eve, I don't know.  Oh, it's also okay because I had reached the ripe old age of mid-40s.  So I had a good run.  :)

 

I'm pretty sure this is the lazy way out, but I have dinner to make! :P

Here are my books people might be interested in.  http://pics.livejournal.com/karlamrich/gallery/0000d0bw

Email me if there is anything you want to buy!

-K

Long story short, job hunt not going well, and I have lots of stuff.  So I see a possible solution for this month's bills here: sell some stuff.  If you are interested in anything, email me. 

Sony Blu-ray player as seen here:
http://preview.tinyurl.com/6fld6l
asking $100

Xbox 360 Rock Band kit
Drums, 2 guitars (one wireless), microphone, game
asking $50

Color printer, HP Photosmart 7960 as seen here:
http://preview.tinyurl.com/dymagq
asking $30

Camcorders:
Canon ZR200 A
http://preview.tinyurl.com/m8mlwm
asking $100

JVC GR-D770U 
http://preview.tinyurl.com/metr7s
asking $80

Jason Palmer's Sarah Connor Chronicles print:
http://preview.tinyurl.com/nw9hb3
asking $20

I also have camping gear if anyone is interested (backpacks, sleeping pads, handheld gps, there should be a tent somewhere...).

Lastly I have lots of sci-fi books (lots of Star Wars, Heinlein, Harrison, Saberhagen, Foster, etc.), psychology/education-type books and comic books (single issues and trades) that I will sell, but that will take a while to list so I will follow that up with another post.

First of all, I should say that I actually do have some good times and generally post those on twitter.  It's just that if I ever need more than 140 characters to express what I'm thinking, it seems to be about the divorce. So, with the apology for more depressing rants to come, I will proceed.

The other night Ido asked me if I remember the good times with Adam.  And I definitely do. I realized then though, that that is part of why I'm having such a hard time processing what happened and accepting that it is over.  We had lots of good times and we meshed really well.  I'm not going to say that I remember it all, because anyone who knows anything at all about me knows that I have a horrible memory.  Especially involving events in my own life.  But still, I remember happiness.  Of course there were fights and disagreements, but that's going to happen for any couple and it's not like we physically fought or had nightly screaming matches or anything.

I saw a truck today that reminded me of his first car - the car he had when we met. It was a Toyota pickup, but he had plans to jack it up and paint it black and put rollbars on it, etc.  You know, like the truck in Back to the Future.  The funny thing was, I knew exactly what he was talking about before he even mentioned BTTF and even had the same car-crush as him (well, I also loved the 76 Celica - which was MY car when we were first together).  Then I made a weird connection today about that truck.  My boyfriend in high school had that truck.  Only it was white.  But it was jacked up and had a roll-bar.  That was the truck that we rolled *7 times* the night we went to see Back to the Future 3. 

That was the boyfriend who was discharged from the Marines because he had to have metal pins in his back due to our accident.  I am not sure if this is a sign of the supernatural, or an indicator of just how small a town we lived in, but one of my best friends was in the car behind us. Well, she was behind the bus that was behind us.  And she was out on a completely separate date of her own! Weird huh? Also, the first responder was a Senior from my high school, a guy who had a crush on me for quite a while, and he was actually much more my type than Jeremy was (Jeff was a huge teddy bear and Jeremy was very wiry).  Jeff was there because he was a volunteer firefighter as well.  I have no idea why I was never interested in him, except that maybe it was because I was an Ensign and he was still a non-comm.  I mean, come on! It was high school! The only two that ranked above me were Jeremy (who was my best friend) and Brian (we tried to date, but he was way too intimidated by my father, who of course showed him his guns on our first date. How cliche!).  So I guess I felt the only direction I could go was up and so I dated an actual Marine.  Which was kind of awesome status wise, but really we had absolutely nothing in common and he wanted us to marry, like, the day after I graduated high school.  Also, yes, there were two Jeremy's in my life at that time. My dad couldn't keep them straight either, so he would refer to them as Crash n' Burn.  Crash, because of our car accident of course, and Burn, because my friend's car caught fire at school one day.  I had to get another ride home after drill team practice that day.

So, all of this was to make the point that... um... Memories!  I has them. 

Today I went to Campbell for lunch with a friend, which was where Adam and I lived for a while.  There was a restaurant on the street where I was today that would crack us up every time we passed it (it seems to be gone now).  The restaurant was called "OK Chinese Food" and the sign on the window said "Each meal MUST come with eggroll!".  I had the immediate impulse to share this with him, because this was one of our inside jokes that we hadn't thought about in years.  Of course I didn't, but there have been so many of these.  I will list some of the ones that have popped in my head recently, mostly just as a form of self-torture since no one else will understand them anyway.

"Nothing is as funny as the showpickle"
"Dave's home"
"Dave's not here" - I know, other people will know what that's from, but it had special significance for us.
"Adam's cute and all, but Eric...."
"Big Bushy Monster" - possibly not what you are thinking...  it was the name of our first Christmas Tree that was WAY too big for our apartment
"That's a lotta fuckin' bees!"
"The power's out! What the hell will Adam do?!"

The last one is ridiculous and can probably be explained (whereas for the other's you really had to be there).  Adam was addicted to whatever video game system we had at the time.  It was 1993, so, I don't know, N64 maybe?  When he wasn't working he was playing video games.  Which, actually, after 15 years didn't actually change all that much now that I think about it.  Anyway, Dave and I were out together and got home late and noticed that the power on our street was out.  So, one of us said "The power's out! What the hell will Adam do?!"  I think I even suggested that he might do some form of picking up the apartment or washing dishes if he had no video games to play.  We reach the top of the stairs, and see Adam sitting in the doorway, still in his work uniform, playing a GameBoy by the light of the moon.  Classic.

So the thing is that Adam and I laughed a lot.  I mean a lot.  We had so much fun together and there was no one I wanted to spend time with more than him.  And if we mentioned any one of those inside jokes we would start laughing uncontrollably.  Especially the showpickle.  Nothing is as funny as the showpickle.

1. First thing you wash in the shower? Hair

2. What color is your favorite hoodie? Green

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? What kind of kiss we talkin' here? Kissed Kira last night at bedtime, so of course yes.  The OTHER kind, um, would kiss, but will not. 

4. Do you plan outfits? Not really.

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? Physically fine.

6. What's the closest thing to you that's red? Kira's headband.

7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having? just posted about it.

8. Did you meet anybody new today? No, but it's only 10am, so it's early.  Apparently someone is coming to fix the hall toilet!  that will be exciting!

9. What are you craving right now? Can you crave money?

10. Do you floss? Not usually.

11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? Cole slaw.

12. Are you emotional? Of course.

13. Have you ever counted to 1,000? Yes

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? Both

15. Do you like your hair? Sometimes.

16. Do you like yourself? Sometimes.

17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? No, thank you.

18. What are you listening to right now? The house popping as it settles.

19. Are your parents strict? Mother was not, father was.

20. Would you go sky diving? No.

21. Do you like cottage cheese? Yes, I have it for breakfast most mornings.

22. Have you ever met a celebrity? A few.

23. Do you rent movies often? Netflix, yes.

24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in? No.

25. How many countries have you visited? 1.

26. Have you made a prank phone call? I don't think so. If I did I don't remember.

27. Ever been on a train? Yes.

28. Brown or white eggs? White

29. Do you have a cell phone? Yes.

30. Do you use chap stick? Yes.

31. Do you own a gun? No.

32. Can you use chop sticks? Yes.

33. Who are you going to be with tonight? The kids.

34. Are you too forgiving? I was. That may change.

35. Ever been in love? Yes.

36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow? One is heading down to San Diego. I imagine the other one will be getting ready to.

37. Ever have cream puffs? Don't think so.

38. Last time you cried? ...

39. What was the last question you asked? Apparently, it was "Can you crave money?"

40. Favorite time of the year? Halloween

41. Do you have any tattoos? One - it was done by my sister and brother

42. Are you sarcastic? No. Not at all.

43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect? Yes.

44. Ever walked into a wall? Door frames, quite often. Not sure about a wall.

45. Favorite color? Green.

46. Have you ever slapped someone? Not that I remember, but boy do I want to.

47. Is your hair curly? No.

48. What was the last CD you bought? Soundtrack to The Lost Boys (like 3 months ago).

49. Do looks matter?  Yes.

50. Could you ever forgive a cheater? I have, but I won't ever again. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

51. Is your phone bill sky high? No.

52. Do you like your life right now? ...

53. Do you sleep with the TV on? No.

54. Can you handle the truth?  Yes. I get a lot of it.

55. Do you have good vision? No.

56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people? Yes.

57. How often do you talk on the phone? A couple times a day for at least a few minutes, so probably not that much compared to some people.

58. The last person you held hands with? Probably Kira

59. What are you wearing? Pajamas.

61. Where was your profile picture taken? Great America

62. Can you hula hoop? Haven't done so in years, but as a girl i was a hula hoop champ!

63. Do you have a job? Not anymore.

64. What was the most recent thing you bought? Birthday cards for coworkers.

65. Have you ever crawled through a window? Of course.  Everyone loses their house keys at some point in their life!

I need images for a student to work on him formulating 2 - 3 word sentences using words he already knows. Anyone want to help me search for images?
( Anyone want to help? )

I find this, and laughed and laughed:

SCARED HORSE!!!




LMAO!  I love this picture so much.  I can't stop laughing.  Thank you to elite  for pointing this guy out to us at Great America today.

ETA:  Oh yeah!  There was even a song!  We were separated while we were composing, so lyrics got kind of jumbled, but it starts something like this:

He rides across the carousel
The thoroughbred of fear
He needs a valiant rescue
So send your posse here
His face is worth admission
So go give him a jeer...

So I was in the garage, packing suitcases for tomorrow and listening to my Supernatural soundtrack, and therefore was taking my sweet time about it.  I knew I had stuff I needed in the house to finish, but was avoiding it until a not-so-good song came on.  hahaha
Anyway, I finally did go inside, and what was playing on the radio in my room?  "Turn to stone" by Joe Walsh (played in the last ep of season 1).  This pleased me greatly.

It is hard to wake up in the morning.  Especially when it is dark in the mornings again and my body says "No, it is not time yet."  But curling up around me does not help me to wake up.  You need to learn from Joss.  Joss is a good morning cat.  He will pace around me until I get annoyed and finally get up.  Your cuddling almost made me late today. 

This post starts with a confession.  I yelled at the kids today.  I am a bit irritable tonight, and, for the hundredth time, I was going to have to ask the kids to rinse out their dishes when they put them in the sink (especially if they have dairy products in them).  But I didn't ask them.  I yelled at them.  * Sigh * 

I was able to regain my composure however, apologized (particularly to Kaleb who reacted with a very bad attitude, understandably) and turned it into "What can you do to help yourself remember?"  I asked them to talk about it to each other, and each decided to write themselves reminders to place above the sink.  I really find it interesting how differently they approached this.  I think it reflects their personalities perfectly.  Each took an 8.5 x 11 piece of paper.  This is what they wrote (I kept spelling and capitalizations as they wrote them):

Kaleb: "WASH the Dishes when you're DONE!"

Kira:
"Oh, can you wash the dishes,
wash the dishes, wash the dishes? Can you wash
them? wash them? wash them? of I look in
a cystal ball, I'll see you washing them,
the dishes. One Plate, two Plates, three Plates,
four Plates, five. Plate, Plate, Plate, Plate
Boul, boul, boul, boul
      yaaaaaay!"

So, flist.  I need new everything.  New land-line, new cell phone service, new internet and new cable/satellite.  Any recommendations or stay-the-hell-away-froms from locals?

 

The househunt is heating up.  There is one place in Palo Alto that I'm still hoping for, but I have opened the search to Mountain View and found two places that are tying for the top of the list.  They are both two-story 3 bedroom/2.5 bathroom townhouses for exactly the same rent.  One is part of a big complex, the other is stand alone (in a cul-de-sac of about 7 other townhouses).  Here is my pros and cons list:

	House 430	House 4312
Pros	*No carpet in dining room *Attached 2-car garage = storage!! *Separate Dining Room, Living Room and Office *Large private yard *Automatic garage door *Has character! *At the end of a cul-de-sac = very private and quiet *No shared walls = again, private and quiet	*No deposit (except for $300 pet deposit) *Access to pools, jaccuzi and gym *Washer and dryer already in unit *Pay only electricity *Has a breakfast counter between kitchen and living/dining room *April 1 move-in date *Very responsive maintenance and management staff *Office can also be a guest room
Cons	*No Pets *Pay all utilities and pay for own gardener *March move-in	*Patio is small *Storage is limited *No fireplace *Plus $35 rent for cats *Very limited guest parking

Their locations are also roughly equivalent.  The size is hard to tell; House 430 feels larger but when I compare the room dimensions (LR, DR and bedrooms) they come out the same. Unfortunately parking is limited in both places.  For 430 there is one assigned space in addition to the garage, and street parking at the end of the cul-de-sac, but not much.  There are some industrial places nearby I think that people could probably park at, but visitors would have a trek to the house.  At 4312 there is one covered parking spot and some guest parking, but I suspect the guest parking gets pretty full.  No street parking. 

One other Pro for 4312: I would be doing someone a good deed.  I know someone else may come along, but I really like the idea of being able to help out a stranger.  Also, maybe I could bank some karma points to help me out of my own lease! ;)

So, flist?  What do y'all think?  Votes?

babybokalposted this first.  Also, I suck at lj tags, which somehow messed up my first version of this post.
( Click for Meme-age )

 I will use the "Dean Screams Like a Girl" icon because it makes me laugh.  Need to watch Yellow Fever again.  Was waiting to share it with someone, but that's not happening...

Apparently my dreams have not yet received news about the divorce. 

Good morning reality.  You can suck it.

Just looked at my last posts.  Sorry guys.  Bad period.  But I'm doing much better now.  Again, thanks to friends and all these terrific people who love me. 

So, not a lot to say, I mainly just wanted to not have the post at the top of my page be such a depressing post.  Therefore, rockin' Dean!

(Yesterday)

I worked and I was pretty awesome at it. Plus, how much do I love my staff?  They brought me flowers,  and chocolate kisses, because they know I'm uncomfortable with hugs from new people.  As of yesterday they are no longer new people.

I was proactive regarding making an awful situation a little better for my kids.

I went to school and had lots to offer even though I didn't do the reading and school was the last place I wanted to be at that time.  People were coming to me at the end of class to ask me more even!

I spent time online with awesome friends chatting and planning for times when I will see them in real life. 

I even did some schoolwork, because according to Melissa, moving the books around from one pile to another counts.

I ended the day with becoming friends with Tim Minear (on facebook, but hey, it made me incredibly giddy).

I have been getting emails and IMs of well-wishes all day from my wonderful friends.  I love you all.  It really does mean a lot to me.  The thing that topped my day?  Reading a glowing, and detailed and honest evaluation of my work at PAUSD so far (my last letter of recommendation from my boss at the county was a bunch of made-up shit from a principal who never stepped into my classroom, so it meant absolutely nothing to me, even though it was also glowing).  It made me cry.  It is exactly what I needed to feel like I am not completely pathetic.  And I know, my friends have been telling me that all day.  But they have to say that. :)  Bosses don't.


BTW, there is no userpic or mood to describe what I'm feeling right now.  So I'll just default to Dean being awesome.